In the past week I have read a few stories about traveling with kids and the disparity between those who travel with them and those who don’t. Of course the latter group is highly against the former being anywhere near them when they’re traveling, especially flying . We parents know that most kid-less travelers wish our families would take a kids-only airline somewhere or better yet, stick to the back of the plane with a sound proof partition around us. We get it. They’re looking for a little bit of rest, relaxation, and preferably a much-needed nap. No problem. The chair-kicking and caterwauling can get on any sane person’s nerves. However, traveling with children is the way of the world.
I’ve been in a couple of situations where I’ve traveled on a plane with my kids and gotten “the look”. Let me tell ya, as a girl from Brooklyn, people who’ve offered me “the look” don’t realize just how lucky they were that my kids were in earshot. Generally speaking, my children have been excellent on the plane. It’s been over a year and a half since we’ve flown last but my then 5-year old was entertained by his movie and my then 1-year old was being, well, a typical 1-year old. Those “looks” have deserved many a non-kid friendly response on my part. Being the mature, responsible mom that I am, I’ve spared my children the potential ignorance.
There’s no easy way to fly with kids. There are ways to manage it, but it’s not cut and dry. Little do these other passengers realize that parents try their hardest to make the flight comfortable for themselves, their children, and others that they don’t even know. How? They try by carefully picking flight times that correspond to naps; packing snacks, toys, books; offering bottles, breasts, IPods, DVD players, gum, and any other distraction that would keep their child happy, entertained, and calm.
Here’s a letter to rude travelers flying without kids:
There’s but so much within parents’ control. Yes, we know you want us to just avoid flying with our children altogether, but that’s not gonna happen. We don’t control the plane leaving on time, or other late passengers, or mechanical failure, or turbulence and storms, or tummy aches, or ear discomfort, or runway delays, or other crying kids that wake ours up, or the airlines’ stinginess with cookies, or unavailable gates, or nutcases acting out on planes, or whatever the heck sets our kids off in the first place. We know you think we’re all-powerful because we’ve brought life into this world but there’s a limit to our awesomeness and omnipotence. We-are-not-God. Everything is not in our control!
Listen, you were a bratty kid once yourself. Kids are here to stay – they aren’t going anywhere. As long as there’s a seat on the flight and we can afford it, we’re traveling with our kids. Deal with it. Purchase a first class ticket and some noise reducing headphones and deal. You’re too grown to have tantrums about something that YOU have no control over. It’s wasted energy. Settle down and take a nap. Take comfort in knowing that most of us are doing our best. Jimmy, Sally, Pedro, and Malik are learning how to travel. So, save us parents “the look”. It’s counterintuitive and creates unnecessary tension for us all. We’re stressed enough as it is. We want to get to our destination as quickly as you do and your un-niceness does little to motivate us to make you more comfortable. It actually makes some of us, especially the ones that have that inner New Yorker, a little antagonistic.
– Parents traveling with kids
One day, many of the kid-less travelers will be parents themselves and they will feel our pain. Thank you and shouts out to those passengers who have been understanding, patient, and helpful on the plane. What goes around comes around. And the circle of life continues.
Well said. Kids will be kids, whether on an airplane, train, or at the playground. And if moms stop traveling with kids, when will it end. Will moms not take kids to a restaurant, a play? Moms who pay for kids seats on airplanes deserve to be there as much as travelers without kids. Period.
Alicia, did you ever hear about that story where they wanted to ban kids from restaurants? I have to double check my sources on where that was but yup, there’s a contingency of restaurant-goers that think kids shouldn’t be allowed in certain type of dining establishments. The nerve, huh?
Absolutely agree. I’ve always told my kids that traveling is a privilege, not a right and they better BEHAVE! Having said that, there’s nothing worse than the parent who pops on their noise-reducing headphones and lets their little darlings go wild. (Yes, that was a lovely trip from Atlanta to Albuquerque!) And just for the record, neither I nor my hubby have a problem turning around to the kid kicking our seat and telling them to “Cut it out!” Ah yes, I love being a New Yorker.
Those ignoring parents, in turn, have no right to say anything when you put their kids in check. It’s then that they want to start policing them and they deserve looks from EVERYBODY, kid-less and “kid-full”. LOL!
GREAT topic and post!
In my travels I have found there is a distinguishment between those who aren’t traveling with kids but have been there before and TOTALLY sympathize with kindness and smiles, and those who do not sympathize and would rather see the kids strapped to the wing- thus appropriately referred to as “kid-haters”.
My husband and I are fortunate enough to travel first class most of the time, for which I am grateful. I ESPECIALLY love the look of the kid-haters when we plop down in our first class seats. I feel like saying “yup people, that’s right, we have an infant! he HAAAATES to fly!” (even though our son is a DREAM on the plane.) We are always well prepared for our trip with him and make every effort to keep him happy during the flight 🙂
My mother always told me “that was you once, and one day you’ll have your own crying baby on a plane” if only other mothers told theirs the same ~
On another note, almost worse than “kid-haters” on a plane are the parents that DO absolutely NOTHING to entertain, comfort, or control their babies/children.
Yup Allison, you are right. Not all kid-less travelers are the same because sometimes mommy and daddy are flying without the kids and in other instances you have the travelers that “have been there before”. Love it that you smile in their face in your first class seats. LOL! That’s too funny.
And you are right, as I was telling another reader, the parents who deserve “the look” are the complacent ones that allow Bobby, Suzy, and Carlos to do whatever the hell they want on the plane. Shame on them!!
Thank you so much for the follow!!! It is so great to see new readers 🙂
I couldn’t help but giggle at your post as I unfortunately have been one of those “kid-less” people who give “the look”. However, I do understand and appreciate the parents that work to get their children entertained during these flights. Flying isn’t pleasant for anyone so it’s understandable why a child would become bored, etc…
Great blog!
Hi Nicole, thanks for stopping by. I wanted to get a kid-less flyer’s perspective on here and I enjoyed reading your post and reminiscing about traveling and exploring before kiddies came into the picture. Now the playing field has totally changed as with my perspective on travel. Honestly, the parents who deserve “the look” are the ones who do absolutely nothing to contain/entertain their children. They deserve it not only from kid-less travelers but those of us parents who try so hard to make it comfortable for everyone.
See ya soon!
Last time I travelled by air I only had two kids ages 2 and 3 mths. As hard as I tried my 3mth old just cried to the point I cried. Someone past me a lolly pop and the whole plan clapped because he stopped crying..I was mad! He is a baby believe me I know it was annoying but I was trying. So I suggest traveling with pops lol. Long story short I don’t fly anymore specially with four kids!
Following back BTW 🙂
great post the site changes look great too. Hugs!
Thanks Katherine!
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My son flew at least 6 times before he was 2 and was always a good traveller. Thank Goodness. As a parent I am one of those “Been there, done that” flyers if somebody’s kid is flying. Although I’m pretty sure I haven’t flown kidless since they’ve been born. I will tell you that I loooove Southwest airlines. I was travelling by myself with my (then) 3 yr. old and 5 month old. I had a baby carrier that I tried to wear her in, a double stroller, both kids(obviously), a diaper bag, a toy bag, a carseat and probably something that I’ve forgotten about by now. The flight attendant took my carseat back and hooked it in for me and helped me get everything set up. Then, when I had to go potty during the flight, she came and sat with my kids. I just cannot say enough good things about SW airlines! Thought I’d share that for those of you still travelling with kids!
Michelle
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